Yesterday was a very bad day for me. We had been out to Bruce & Vickies the night before and Brad was talking to me about my lack of sociability...
I'm not the warm fuzzy type and I keep my emotions and thoughts to myself for the most part so he was shocked when I had what could only be considered a Katie version of a breakdown...
After the last 8 years of hell that we've been through, hard as I try I'm having difficulty 'having a good time'. May seem stupid to some but I've always been 'the quiet type' to begin with but I have never had a problem 'letting my hair down'. I'm finding since leaving that hell hole we currently call home that while I am enjoying myself in others company, I'm not able to 'let it all hang out'.
Brad genuinely didn't know I had been affected by our experience as much as I have. I think he knows now. After what seemed to me to be ages we said to hell with Them and jumped in the Jeep. Off to Temecula to try the In-N-Out burger we've heard so much about. Disappointing and I'll stick to my beloved A&W.
We were going to go to the Promenade Mall to do a bit of shopping, but my head was really bothering me and the emotion was still raw after the morning I had so we came back home and I took a nap. While napping Vickie & Bruce stopped by to invite us over to a party at their place with all their RV buddies.
I just couldn't do it. I'd looked forward to meeting them for ages but I just couldn't face being around people after the day I had. Sorry guys, next time.
Today is better but I can still sense it lingering so thought perhaps if I wrote about it that might help. Its hard though to write about what we've experienced without using details and still make it therapeutic but whatever I've - I was going to say been through worse, but no, I haven't. I don't regret anything in life because it makes us who we are, but I regret that place. Always will.